Wed 20/5/2020

A few years back I was confronted with sleepless nights, with concern, with stifling anxiety, and depression was playing ridiculous games with me in among all that.

But I came through that and while I did CrossFit Armidale became bigger, stronger.

Now in 2020 we have been dealt probably the most difficult set of circumstances in business I have ever seen.

It has allowed me to see things from a different perspective.

I could do without the sleepless nights and ridiculous nausea and butterflies that come with the anxiety right now. But it has let me see what I was doing wrong. Where I had lost myself.

For a good portion of the last five or six years I was happily going about being a business owner. I was doing the accounting stuff, the government reporting, the marketing, the liaising with other businesses, the learning, the programing, the cleaning, the tidying up loose ends, the staff meetings, the vision work, the admin tasks, the marketing, and, well, anything else that popped up along the way.

When I started writing that down I realised how thinly I was spreading myself. In the last six months or so I began coaching a few sessions at different times and I began to remember why I had gotten into this. Why I wanted to help people. Now the thing with business is that cash flow is its lifeblood, but the main thing for that is the relationships with the people. I know now I stuffed up in a few places here, I was too worried about the bottom line and keeping afloat than I was about the important things.

At times I got out of my lane. And even though I had the best intentions in mind for people I more than likely came across as the villain in their story. If any of you are reading this, I am truly sorry I ever did anything to hurt you, because I try to live by, be good, do no harm. So while I never intend to harm anyone, I do understand that my actions can and more than likely have. So again, I am truly sorry to anyone that I have had that effect on.

So what am I getting at here? 

I have made mistakes, yeah, more than a few. At times I have lost sight of who I am and have not been the most honest with myself, which in turn leads to misleading others. This period in time has showed me that I needed to take a lot more personal responsibility again.

My health, my relationships, my work, my business, my social responsibilities, I needed to get back to them and be responsible for them. I Make my own destiny to a degree, sure, things like global pandemics are outside my control, and that can feel bloody overwhelming, but I can control how I react to these scenarios.

I have remembered we aren’t in high school anymore, people won’t pick on you because you aren’t in the popular crowd, they won’t desert you when you are at your lowest, and you will be able to pick yourself up and go again.

Something I have helped other people with that I had forgotten was that people are seldom out to get you, they are just trying to look after themselves and those they love. Look there are the odd narcissistic sociopaths out there that will do shit to try to bring you down, but they are the exception to the rule. So for me I was forced to get away from the box, and with that I realised that I needed to be what I set out to be back in 2007, and that is a guide and coach.

I have started doing one on one coaching calls with people and it has emphasised how much we need that contact, we need to feel a part of something that is more than just us. And we do truly love when someone guides us and helps us be accountable for our actions, especially if those actions are leading us to be better people overall. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually.

So this means that for me there have been, and now, will be more changes. I have seen where I was going wrong, and I know what I need to do to rectify it.

My actions are mine and mine alone. I choose where I want to go and what I want to do. 

I never set out to be a business owner. Why? Because it always seemed so damn impersonal, businesses owners were portrayed as greedy, pretentious people that had forgotten where they came from. I just wanted to help people.

So yeah, I had forgotten where I had come from. I forgot what I wanted to be and what helped the most.

I am a CrossFit affiliate, a CrossFit coach.

I am CrossFit Armidale.

And if you want to be a part of that, if you want that to be part of your story, come with me, I will show you the way.